


hidden in your embrace (is a love story)

by tamanone



Series: let's talk about love, let me talk about love (yeah i'm talking about you) [2]
Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Communication, Established Relationship, Fluff without Plot, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-20 05:11:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19986658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamanone/pseuds/tamanone
Summary: “You’re holding something back from me, and I’m offended that you think I wouldn’t notice.”Apparently done instilling the fear of god into him, Hatano releases Kaminaga’s jaw and goes back to laying his head coyly on his sternum. “Talk to me.” Hatano murmurs, voice soft. It’s both a plea and an order, and Kaminaga is so weak for him.





	hidden in your embrace (is a love story)

**Author's Note:**

> for chiku, who may not be the reason why i started writing this piece in the beginning, but did give me the much needed boost to finish it. it's nice to hear that someone is anticipating your work.
> 
> set within the same hs universe as "third time", but it really doesn't matter if you've read that one or not.

Kaminaga has been hiding something from his boyfriend.

It’s nothing harmful, of course. Kaminaga would — _could_ — never do that to him. But just because it’s not harmful doesn’t mean it’s not choking him from the inside; and just because it’s choking him from the inside doesn’t mean Kaminaga can just bring himself to open up about it. He doesn’t think about it all the time, it’s more of a thing that exists on the back of his mind and occasionally reemerges than one that floats on the surface perpetually. Sometimes Kaminaga would forget about it for days, or even weeks on end, before being reminded by the smallest things, then ending up overcompensating for his fear and his guilt.

Now he’s not an actor like his mother, he doesn’t excel in long term pretense, especially when it’s personal — or, wait, maybe he just can’t lie to people he actually cares about? Is that what it is? Anyway, the point is, he knows he won’t be able to keep this to himself forever, knows he’s going to get found out someday, he’s just not expecting it to happen **so soon**.

“I think,” Hatano starts, slowly, one afternoon barely two months after his epiphany, and— oh, oh no. Kaminaga knows that look. It’s the look Hatano has before he says something that he claims to be ‘simply speculative’ but is scathing and more often than not right on the money. Kaminaga isn’t going to come out of this alive. He can’t even hide away, what with Hatano lying completely on top of him, head resting on his chest. Oh lord, his heart is going a hundred kilometers per hour and there’s no way Hatano hasn’t noticed. Oh lord, his boyfriend must be having a field day with this.

“You forgot that I know you quite well; that I was a good friend of yours before I became your boyfriend; that I’ve liked you as long as you’ve liked me; that I’ve been watching you as closely as you have me, to the point where you _deluded_ yourself into thinking this would completely fly under my radar.”

(See? Scathing.)

Kaminaga, despite the low probability of it succeeding, tries to save his dignity. With a chuckle, he responds, “I have no idea what you’re t—”

Hatano grabs him by the jaw before he finishes the sentence, smushes his cheeks and makes him look like a human-goldfish hybrid.

Fare thee well, dignity, it was nice knowing you.

“You’re holding something back from me, and I’m offended that you think I wouldn’t notice.”

Apparently done instilling the fear of god into him, Hatano releases Kaminaga’s jaw and goes back to laying his head coyly on his sternum. “Talk to me.” Hatano murmurs, voice soft. It’s both a plea and an order, and Kaminaga is so weak for him.

He brings his hand—previously clutching onto the hem of Hatano’s sweater—to rub at his eyes. “Oh, man, where do I even start.” he says, accompanied by a self deprecating chuckle.

Hatano has started drawing random patterns on his shoulder joint, expression tentative, “Would you like me to ask you some questions and then go from there?”

Kaminaga nods, feeling like he’s nine again and his mother is teaching him about accountability after he knocked down and broke a flower pot while playing frisbee with Robinson.

“What have you been trying to do?” he begins, thumb running along the seam of Kaminaga’s bitten bottom lip, gently pressing in, pulls it downward a little so it would escape the grip of his teeth. His eyes are looking into Kaminaga’s the whole time.

“Pretending. Acting the way I imagined an ideal boyfriend would.”

Hatano tilts his head, but otherwise his expressions barely changes, “Why?”

“Mom always said to fake it ‘till you make it.”

“Why did you have to fake it?”

Kaminaga mumbles out the answer, voice small due to the high level of vulnerability demanded by the question. Hatano lets out a questioning hum.

“‘m scared.”

“What are you scared of?”

“My relationship never lasts,” Kaminaga repeats, louder this time, and just like that, everything he’s been keeping to himself for the past few months pours out, “and I never cared much before, because what I felt for those people were never more than mere crushes. But with you, oh god, I like you so much, and obviously I’m the- the problem here, right? The one constant? So I’ve been bending over backwards- doing everything I can possibly imagine- to make sure we do,” he stops to take a breath, slightly ashamed of the way his voice has gotten higher and desperate with each word. Yet one look at how Hatano is listening to him attentively grounds him, and he pushes the last of the words out of him, “I don’t want to lose you. I’m so scared of you waking up one day only to realize that you can do much better than me.”

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” Hatano responds a few moments later, his face is solemn for a moment before a quirk of his eyebrows transform it into one of annoyance, “but also wow, you really are a dumbass.”

Kaminaga gasps, “Hey!”

“No, listen to me,” Hatano scolds, squirming a bit on top of Kaminaga so he can straddle him instead, “Kaminaga, dear lord, I’ve seen you do stupid shit. In fact, I did a lot of that stupid shit with you. I witnessed you licking a dirty, rusty swing set—which, by the way, I have no idea how you didn’t get sick from that, I guess idiots really do can’t get sick—and remember that time we ate fried grasshoppers? Huh?”

“Y-yeah.” He answers, feelings a bizarre mix of nervous from how displeased his boyfriend looks and wonder at how even then he’s still so _cute_.

“Did that make you like me any less?”

“Well, no...”

“Okay, so I don’t get why you think it doesn’t work the other way around too. You know, usually people worry about these kinds of things before they date someone, not after,” Hatano slumps forward to plant his hands on each side of Kaminaga’s head so they’re face to face, and Kaminaga watches the way his chest heaves ever so slightly, the way his eyes always seem to have a gleam to them.

“I know lo—affection alone isn’t going to make a relationship last, but it is a good enough foundation and starting point. Trust yourself, trust your feelings for me, and then trust me and my feelings for you... you know..?” his face softens before becoming flushed once he realizes how close their faces have gotten. But before Kaminaga can capture those tantalizing lips Hatano is already moving away and getting up.

“Right, now let’s go do some more stupid shit to make ourselves feel better.”

Kaminaga reluctantly moves to follow him, “What do you have in mind?”

“I’m thinking of eating a whole tub of ice cream in one sitting while binging The Good Place, but I’m open to other ideas.”

“Sounds good to me. Your treat?”

“Nngh, fine,” Hatano groans, arms extended back as he stretches, “but only because you were feeling worse—” his sentence ends in a gasp as Kaminaga grabs him by the hand and pulls him into an embrace. His blush darkens after Kaminaga steals a kiss.

“Thank you.” Kaminaga murmurs, lopsided grin and all, and finally starts walking to get his promised sweets.

**Author's Note:**

> oh man i've always wanted to talk about my hs!au kaminaga's insecurity and now finally..... yuh
> 
> \- hatano does a lot of affectionate actions unthinkingly (and always gets super blushy afterwards) but is a bit better with voicing out his thoughts  
> \- on the other hand kaminaga loves affectionate actions (both giving and receiving), but it takes a bit more effort for him to put his feelings into words  
> \- kaminaga ended up paying for the ice cream (even bought two tubs lmao rip their tummies) bc he has more allowance money than he knows what to do with and told hatano he can pay him back w more cuddles. hatano almost shoved him into the frozen aisle in embarrassment.  
> \- this work was titled differently the whole time i was writing it, only around the time i do some quick proofreading that i remember red velvet has a song called talk to me... so i used a lyric from it. anyway stan red velvet and joker game for clear skin.
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/kaminagasama), [cc](https://curiouscat.me/tamanone), and [tumblr](http://tamanone.tumblr.com/).


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